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How well do you know me? It's a website, flat, with pictures and text. Four of the body's five external senses are simply not referenced. While you are reading these pages, your imagination naturally fills in the paragraphs with your own impressions, your own assumptions, even your own accent... the scene can still be vivid and inviting, but always held a few degrees away from reality. You could always drop by and meet me, but in between, I can at least give you sound. Most people achieve this by embedding terrible-sounding MIDI files to ambush you as you wander past, adding a delightful splash of elevator music to a somewhat placid web experience. I couldn't actually do that and live, so here, Joseph McLean recites a bit of poetry, imitates Morrissey with aplomb, builds a website, and says hello, all copyrighted and executed in glorious mono surround. Okay, maybe none of this is how I normally sound. But then, no one ever accused me of being normal...